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Fighting the same monster

We’re all enemies here.

Your enemies enemies might be fighting the same monsters you are, but they have their own battles.
Everyone wants to be the hero. They won’t let you kill the monster either, because they want the glory of killing it themselves.

When you are writing a book, everyone in the world is your enemy. Better writers will shun you so that you don’t steal their best ideas, and worse writers will take your best ones and use them as their own. If you create a monster that is too believable, that monster might just come out of the woodwork and sue you for defamation. Monsters tend to be as real as you make them up to be.

You know the devil really has won when we all start yelling over each other, quarrelling over ideas and whose they were originally.

But I will say this.

I stood up to The Devil before anyone else did. I lost 20 years of my life because of it. I never lived down the fallout. I am not resilient. I don’t have a mutated version of MAO-A on either of my X chromosomes. I was more fragile, and It destroyed me, called me a liar, tore my family apart and completely destroyed my mental health. I rose up against the devil, spoke the truth, and got destroyed. I was five.

I am the result, a broken, bitter, twisted person, with no powers other than the ability to make up stories.

And your Venus character bore witness to the entirety of my demise, and did nothing to prevent it from happening. I don’t think she was a bad person. But she saw what was happening and did not reach out a hand. All it takes for evil to triumph is for good people to say nothing. She said nothing. She did nothing. She made absolutely no effort to prevent it from happening.

Everyone already loves her, she is a loveable person. There are so many wonderful and true stories you could tell about her wonderfulness. We should all bow down and praise the Lovely Goddess. I don’t hate her. But she doesn’t exactly think much of my intelligence, does she?

I never did get irony.

She is a hero for many reasons and deserves to be recognised and commended for each and every one of those reasons. But not this. This she did not do.

By giving her credit for something she never did, you are essentially validating the Devil's destruction of me. You’re letting the Devil win at your hands. Don’t let her win again. Don’t let her rub me out of the picture.

If you do, I won’t go quietly. You’ll have to destroy me too, and become the devil yourself in the process. We really shouldn’t be enemies, you and I. But you insist. Ignore this if you want, but don't for a moment believe that it will go away.

First, there was me. I was the child who proved to the Devil that she was not right about everything.
Then, there was Lorelei. She was the child who proved to me that the devil was right about some things.

I used an innocent toddler to prove that the Devil was right. I'm pretty sure that makes me a monster too. So help me, fellow monsters. We are all fighting the darkness which will consume us all if we don't fight it. Let us not fight each other. Winter is coming and we all need to keep warm.


Earth to Morning Star

Morning Star, in the gorge,
You try to fly, but your hang glider won’t start.
Bright you shine, your light
illuminates the darkest night.
See the river from the bed,
See the weeds on the ground.
See all the stones beneath your feet,
see if they are smooth and round.

Morning Star, look to the air,
Pick yourself up from that chair,
Climb out slowly, hang glider in tow.
You may fly; but firstly you must grow.

They said that she would rise before the dawn.
They said that she would bring the Rising Sun.
And when it rose, the Night would be no more.
In light of truth, the battle would be won.

Oh Morning Star, you ne'er saw it both ways.
You were strong and you were bright and you were wrong.
They say that the Devil always wins,
Don’t let her win again: Earth to Morning Star!
Morning Star, take to the air!
Get up off that Goddam chair.
Get yourself out of the door,
Don’t just lie there crumpled on the floor!

They said she was the bringer of the Truth.
That she would cast her light upon the Earth.
And when she rose, she’d bring the Rising Son.
And together they’d forever end the curse.


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March 2015


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